


everything except for the bunnies

by marginaliana



Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Episode Related, Fluff, TG series 18 episode 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 11:56:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13926663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marginaliana/pseuds/marginaliana
Summary: For the series 18 opening reel, Andy has the perfect idea. "I think Jez and James should hug."





	everything except for the bunnies

**Author's Note:**

> I've been re-watching this series and appreciating the joy of the sarcastic opening sequence where they pretend they're going to do sensible reviews that discuss fuel efficiency and carbon emissions. (Then, of course, they cut to the loud, crazy, ridiculous reality.)

"So," Andy said. "The starter reel. Eco-friendly, useful, careful. All that hippie bollocks. What's the most ridiculous thing that we can come up with?"

"Hammond should do a highlight of a straightforward review," said James, leaning back in his chair. "We can do a single sentence, maybe an ending line, big dumb smile, and that'll convey the whole thing quickly."

"Dull and perfect," Richard agreed, from the other side of the table. "I want… bunnies."

James blinked at him. "Eh?"

"They're fluffy and cute, and we can't afford a polar bear."

"Fair enough," said James.

"I think Jez and James should hug," Andy said, and all three of them turned to look at him. "Well, you know," he said. "You spend so much time taking the piss out of each other."

"I like it," Richard said. 

James forced himself to relax his suddenly-tight shoulders; with two of them agreeing it was obviously a done deal already, and it wouldn't do to show how much he hated the idea. But he had the feeling that Jeremy noticed anyway, because the next thing he said was, "James will have to pick something horrible for me to do, then. Any ideas, May?"

There were too many choices, most of them things that he couldn't say out loud without creating a shouting match. "Bicycle," he said, after a moment's consideration. "Do a timed lap around the track, but on a bicycle."

"Can you even _ride_ a bicycle, Jez?" Richard asked.

"Of course I can," Jeremy said, and then, "a bit. I learned how when I was six."

"Did your parents carve the instructions on a stone tablet?" said Richard, and Jeremy reached over to smack him. 

"Idiot," he said, smiling. It was breathtaking. "It'll be fine. You know what they say. Riding a bicycle is just like… riding a bicycle."

James groaned, trying not to think about that smile. "That might be the worst joke I've ever heard you make, and that's saying something."

"What about the one about tequila from last Thursday?" Andy pointed out, and James had to acknowledge that one had been, on balance, worse.

\-----

They filmed all the hippie bollocks in one go, except for the bunnies, which thankfully the crew could do on their own. Or they could get stock footage, James supposed, except that they probably fancied a day of paid work that just consisted of standing around in the sun looking idly for rabbits.

It seemed like it was going to rain, so they saved the bicycle for last in the hopes that Jeremy would have to get soaked while doing it. In the meantime there was Richard's cheerful conclusion to his imaginary sensible road test. And then… there was the hug.

Jeremy had been watching James all morning, looking as if he wanted to say something but didn't quite know what. James would have been more anxious about that if he hadn't already been busy trying to pretend that it didn't matter if Jeremy hugged him.

It wasn't, as he sometimes made out, that he really didn't like being touched. It was more that he didn't like being touched without warning, didn't like being touched by people who didn't bother to ask. He didn't like being touched when the contact would reveal too much. Easier all around if he put people off entirely, even if it meant he sometimes would have rather liked a hug, actually. He'd thought it would be hard, back when he first joined the show, to put Jeremy off, given his loud-mouthedness and his cack-handed approach to almost any situation. But instead Jeremy had always been careful with him, the most likely of anyone to stand a little bit further away, just to be safe.

It was a relief, and also a frustration. Because Jeremy was Jeremy, and James wanted him even though he knew it could never happen.

While Phil settled on a spot to film in, choosing the background angle with care, Jeremy stepped in close – close enough that James had to hold himself still to keep from… running away. Or leaning in. One of those. But all Jeremy said was, "We can cut when we get near enough. I'll just go in for it and you can look like you're joining in, and we can stop there, I promise. Or if you truly don't want to do this, I can think of something else."

James turned to look at him, hoping that he didn't look as stupidly pleased at the thoughtfulness as he felt. "It's all right," he said, and meant it. "I don't mind, Jez, honest." He quirked a grin. "I just needed time to prepare myself for your armpit smell."

"Oi!" Jeremy said, but he was grinning back. 

Phil decided he was happy at last, and he pointed James to a spot on the track. Jeremy stood off camera, and when they rolled film he stepped forwards, arms already outstretched. "Mate!" James lifted his own arms in something like welcome; he was aiming for 'resigned but amused,' which wasn't even that much of a stretch. 

It was only when Jeremy came in close, passing that last inch of space, that James realized maybe he'd let himself in for something harder than planned. Jeremy smelled nothing like armpit – he smelled smoky and a little sweet, the remnants of his earlier fag and over-sugared tea. James could think of nothing except what he might taste like, and he breathed in, slow and deep, just wanting to get more of the scent.

Then Jeremy's arms were around him in truth, and James was hugging him back in an embrace that was half acting and half genuine desire.

"Cut!" Phil said, and James made himself pull away at a reasonable pace, neither a swift rejection of the touch nor a too-true lingering. He caught Jeremy's eye, expecting to see amusement there, but instead his expression was odd, intent. James didn't know what to make of it. Then Jeremy was stepping away, too.

"How was that?" he asked Phil. "Good?"

"Very good," Phil said. "Can you stand each other long enough for one more? Just as a backup."

"I suppose," James drawled, and so they got into position and ran the whole thing through again. This time he managed to control himself a little better, even though Jeremy's arms felt just as strong and safe as they had the first time around.

By then, the first drops of rain were beginning to make themselves felt, so James only stayed to watch Jeremy's face as he was handed the bicycle, and then sought shelter in the portakabin. He supposed that he could leave now – Richard was gone already – but some impulse made him stay there, on the sofa, working through one of his books of crosswords that he'd abandoned on the coffee table at some point in the past. The rain never quite progressed beyond an irregular dribble, but the sound of it on the metal roof was a soothing backdrop to the occasional chirp of 'Action!' and 'Cut!' outside.

He'd been through two and a half crosswords when the door opened and Jeremy came in, jacket spattered with rain and hair glittering with droplets. He gave James a smile that was even brighter. "Hullo, May," he said, and then, "Have we got a towel in here somewhere?"

"I think so," James said, and stood hurriedly to dig through the closets, mostly to keep himself from staring. He found a towel without much difficulty and came back to hand it over. "Here."

"Cheers," Jeremy said, starting to pat himself dry. Once the worst of the water was gone, though, he paused, looking down at the towel as if it held some momentous secret. "James…" 

"Yeah?"

There was a long moment where all Jeremy did was swallow. He draped the towel over the back of the sofa and took a step forwards. Then another, clearly telegraphing his intentions. James didn't move, couldn't move. Jeremy lifted his gaze to look at him. James took a step forwards himself. Jeremy's arms went up, and then he was cupping James' face in his hands and leaning in slowly to kiss him. 

It was a shivery good kiss, tentative and soft and yet no less intense for that. James let himself breathe in deeply, taking in Jeremy's scent and then using the pleasure of it to make him braver. Brave enough to put his arms around Jeremy's waist.

"James—" Jeremy's kiss had moved to the corner of James' mouth, still soft but a little bit more intense now. His lips were cold from being outside, but they were warming fast. "This all right?"

"God, yes," James said. Jeremy huffed out a laugh.

"I thought, maybe…" he said. "Maybe you—"

"Yes," said James. He couldn't quite believe this was happening, but he'd be damned if he didn't take it when it was offered. "I did. I do."

Jeremy slid one hand back and buried it in James' hair, pulling him closer. "Stay here, then," he said. "Just… stay right here."

"Yes," James said again, and kissed him, and they stood there kissing for quite a long time after that.


End file.
